Last week I had a laparoscopic cholecystectomy. For you non doctors out there, that's what is sometimes referred to as "balloon gallbladder surgery". Now if you talk to anyone who had traditional gallbladder surgery, then you will be told that this balloon method is much easier, some even fool you into thinking that it is a piece of cake. It is not a piece of cake. I had a caesarian section once that I felt better after, but come to think of it, I had a baby at the other end of that one!
When I came out of anesthetic in the recovery room, I felt great.....really woozy and great, except for the desert in my mouth. Boy, was I dry! I was given ice chips (thank you very much!) and shipped off to a room to recover even more. I was feeling great about the world....my husband (who in solidarity had not eaten since before midnight either) was by my side and I was looking forward to hopping into some street clothes and going home. My sweet little nurse (and she was really really sweet!) advised me that I had to do three things before I could go home.....I had to eat something, drink something, and pee. No problem!!!! I've been doing all three most of my life and I'm really good at all of them! Soda cracker went down with no problem, got myself 3 cups of cranberry, 3 glasses of ice chips, 2 popcycles, and 6 glasses of water, had them unhook me from the bag of fluids that was pinning me to the bed and headed off to the bathroom. Uh......no go, if you get my drift. Nurse came in to check on me and started the water. I imagined Niagara Falls. Nothing. Soooooo, back to the bed, 3 more glasses of water, 3 more popcycles and 2 glasses of hot tea. Back to the bathroom. Uh......no success. Nurse informed me that I was "on the clock" and had to go soon or I would have to be, gulp, cathed and that meant an overnight stay. Well, it was just too much pressure for me. To say I had a "shy bladder" would be a gross understatement. For someone who considers herself to be a pretty good "pee-er" this was humiliating. I resigned myself to the overnight stay, and maybe getting a good nights sleep. I got the room next to the helicopter pad.
So, we tried again the next day. Do you remember the happy dance you did when you were potty training your kids? The clapping, the excitement, the "good job" and other words of encouragement? Well, the next day those nurses did it all except no M&Ms. But I was going home, and that was good. It was very very good.
My first visitors upon coming home, were my daughter Cari and my two little granddaughters. They were advised not to jump on me or bump my tummy so they approached very carefully. (Usually they fling themselves into my arms whether I'm ready or not!!!) Little Sharon, aged 4, asked me, "why did they take your gumbladder out?" "Well," I told her, "it didn't work right." Now, my husband had his knee replaced last winter, so this replacement procedure is familiar to her. "When will you get your new gumbladder, Grammy?" she asked with complete innocence. When I told her I would NOT be getting a new "gumbladder" her eyes got wide with concern, and she asked, "can you live without one?" I told her I could. I could see puzzlement on her little face. "Then why do we have one?" Smart kid.
Well, its been six days and I feel human again. The worst part of the procedure is the gas they pump into you so they can work in there. It goes up into your chest and shoulders and you have a hard time catching your breath or breathing. After two days or so, the gas moves downward. Ahhhh, this feeling is familiar! I know what to do now.
So, this ordeal is over. I am on the mend, itching to get back into the garden, itching to sleep through the night (on my stomach) and itching to wear pants with a waistband again. That pants thing might be next week tho.
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