A Bra, A Bra, My Queendom for a Bra

My apologies to Will Shakespeare for bastardizing his famous line from King Lear!   However, to find a good fitting brassiere is the quest of many women my age.  I feel kind of funny writing about it, but it has been on my mind since retiring.  I entered retirement with a few simple goals: to watch more than the first 15 minutes of the Today show, to finally make a coconut cream pie, and to find a good fitting bra.  Two out of three goals have been checked off, but I am beginning to despair of ever attaining the third.  Sigh!!!

I wonder if Queen Elizabeth has the same trouble.  I mean really!!! How does she shop for that which every woman, royal or not, wears?   Can she just go into Harrods and ask for a 36C?  Or does she have them specially made?  Who measures her?  And when she says, "We need a little more support, and less back fat"  is she using the royal "we" or is she referring to "the girls"?  Just wondering.

And speaking of back fat....that is just the BEGINNING of the troubles that befall the unDDeniably DDazzling, DDelightful and DDivine women seeking to be comfortable while looking aDDorable!!!!  What about comfort???  What about "top spillage"?  What about "side boobage?"
Recently I went into a woman's store advertising expert consultation.  The "expert" poked me, spun me, measured me and proceeded to give me the same size bra that I walked in with, only with the "comfort strap" hiked up so far, that I looked like I had these huge cones coming out of my neck!!!  In a couple of hours, everything was "down around the equator" if you get my drift.

I also succumbed to the current TV craze advertising the Ah! bra (Genie bra to some) which details the all way stretch fabric, promising comfort AND support!  Comfort, YES!  Support, not so much.  My daughter who also bit on the comfort/support premise suggested I wear two at a time, since they are so lightweight.  I tried it.  More support for sure, but it cut off the blood supply to my arms and I had pins and needles all day long.  Again.... sigh.

I have come to the conclusion that the only way to get a good fitting bra is to....gulp....lose weight.  I am not sure I am prepared to get that drastic!!!  Sooooo......back to the hunt.  In the meantime, if you see me on the street, and I am tugging, pulling, squirming or something else, just smile and know....it's not you, its my bra.